Thursday, July 28, 2011

100% imperfect

Recently I have become aware of a side of me that I am really not liking so far. I know that nobody can be 100% perfect but lately I've been feeling like I am nowhere near the kind of person I would like to be. I suppose that I just have to look at life from the bright side and come to the realisation that I am only human and I will make many mistakes in my life and all I can do is learn from them...hopefully.

Anyway, the other day in the midst of my procrastination, when I was supposed to be doing my extended essay and swedish world literature writing task, I started to write a kind of short story of my life, cliche I know, and I thought I would just share a little sample of it on here for anyone thats bothered to read it. Enjoy :)

"Ever feel like you aren’t good enough? Of course you have, it’s only human. I think it’s impossible to meet a person these days that doesn’t have some kind of problem resting on their shoulders, slowly eating away at them, making them feel of lesser importance in this great big spherical mass that we happen to call the world. I personally can admit to a number of things that make me feel worthless, and envious of every single person’s pathetic little life in this shit hole of a world. I would love to sit here blaming Adam and Eve for all the fucked up things going on everywhere, everyday but I don’t really believe in that bullshit that I’ve been fed since I was sent to a place where I am meant to learn things that will apparently help me later on in life, if I even make it that far. I blame society and every single person in it, myself included, for this degradation of the human species leading us to things like poverty, rape, murder, wars etc etc etc. 
I am however not here to talk about where society started to go wrong, I am here to talk about myself, selfish I know, and all the shallow little problems I have faced in my teenage life. So let the drama begin..

When I started year 7, I was one of those total nerds that had her sleeves rolled down, socks up high, hair slicked back and fucked up teeth that were in desperate need of braces. Everything was great though, I may not have had an endless amount of friends and I may not have had any chance with any guy in his right mind, but I was happy, Content. I excelled in all my classes, maths not included, and I didn’t care about what other people thought about me or about the way I looked.
Year 8 followed a very similar pattern to year 7 but this time I had the sleeve rolling down-pat, my socks weren’t up to my knees anymore, my hair hadn’t changed and I was known to my brother as “railroad teeth”. Year 8 was when puberty really hit me with the whole period thing, I missed out on the growing of boobs though, they seemed to want to stay exactly where they were. But again, my life as a nerd was going great..."

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