Sunday, November 27, 2011
I'm sitting here listening to the unbeatable sounds of Nirvana, making some changes to my psychology internal assessment, wondering if it will all be worth it in the end. Something that crosses my mind very often is the oncoming final exams I have next year. I often wonder what will become of me if I fail, after a total 12 and a half years of schooling, what if it all amounts to nothing? What if every single piece of homework I have handed in, on time or not, every single assignment I have spent hours slaving away at and every single stress attack were all worthless in the end, and that all those hours spent at school were for me to end up with a low-paid job barely scraping by in the world. Growing up, failure and the future are three of my greatest fears and while everyone else longs to be finished with school and to enter in to the real world, I quietly sit here hoping that time will slow down enough for me to learn each and every book we have recieved in these final years off by heart in order to gaurantee a passing mark once exams loom around the corner. I also want time to slow down to allow me to live up as many chances and opportunities I can while I'm still young. Maybe it's just time for me to stop procrastinating and over-thinking, study as much as my brain will allow me so my fear of exams can be put to rest, and to face the future with open arms with the realisation that even if things go wrong, there's always a plan B.